From a plane of Perfect Acceptance and complete interconnectivity human beings are perceived in a different way than we know ourselves. From a human standpoint, by purposeful design, we know ourself as an individual. The things that make us so are the depth of our consciousness, the number of vibratory levels below the state of full interconnection, and the connections we have (past lives and current) with other sentient beings.
The purposes for a human life are to learn specific emotional vibrations (compassion, loneliness, servitude, etc, etc.), to dissolve past-life connections with people which were too great to dissolve in that one life, and to reconnect with the plane of perfect acceptance and interconnection.
Those people who have suffered most in their life have dissolved some of the greatest karmic past-life connections, making it easier for themself and all closely connected with them to advance more easily.
Imagine a single life chain (all Earthly past lives and the current one) where some of the past-lives most significant aspects (extreme chakra over-extension) were killing as a military sniper life, a slave boat captain who raped the female slaves, and an angry jailkeep who forced people to stay up all night by banging the bars.
The payback for those actions can't happen in that particular life so must be lived out over various other lives. If your current life is going to dissolve into enlightenment then you must feel and understand the feelings of both victim and perpetrator. A past-life rapist may go through being raped her- or him-self, working as a rape crisis counselor, live with a close friend or family member being raped. A past-life jailor who keeps people up will constantly be awoken, scared, hated, constrained. A past-life sniper may have to endure exceptional loneliness, loss of possessions.
One thing we can do to help ourselves progress through these harsh life events, after deeply feeling them and going through typical phases of grief, etc, is to remember that you served out this penalty because some YOU in a past life did some heinous deed.
Are you constantly being stopped at every red light? recognize precisely how you feel while missing those lights, being slowed by other people, getting flat tires - remember that feeling and imagine what would be the opposite of that. Lucid and prepared dreams are a good way to find your past. Always stuck at red lights, behind every slow person? maybe you were a strict school master who loved to be annoyingly difficult and forcing extreme patience on people around you, or maybe you were a judge who put innocent people behind bars. Imagine any possible scenario for the opposite emotion - the scenario is "in there" somewhere, you will find it if you calm your mind and truly wish to advance in your spiritual journey. When you understand you will no longer react to the negative thing.
For a deep comparison, if our world evolves into a computer run Matrix type world, how hard would it be to climb out of a video game into the world of the programmers? Do it before it's too late. We got some crazy times ahead very soon.